PLEASURE TO KNOW ME

PLEASURE TO KNOW ME

AN introduction INto SELF PLEASURE

By Penelope “Glam” Piper

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I was home alone for a week, my boyfriend decided to head off for a boy’s week adventuring out of state, and while he was gone my hormones were off the charts. I mean everything I did around the house reminded me of the last night of sex before he left, and how I longed to have him back between my legs. I knew I needed to do something to relieve my sexual tension, then I remembered that I have B.O.B. (battery-operated boyfriend), so I started looking through my drawers for it, I found it buried underneath my panties and couldn’t wait to start using it. I went to my bedroom, closed the door, still not sure why I did that, climbed on my bed, and began getting to know myself “down there” again.

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer @jeremybishop

I needed some help getting started, I sent a text to my boyfriend about what I was doing to myself, and he texted back that I had better not get to attached to B.O.B., so we did a little sex text so I could get excited. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, I hadn’t masturbated in 2 years since my boyfriend and I got together, and I didn’t think I would need to enjoy myself in this way anymore. My boyfriend and I do live together so there is no need for me to masturbate, or so I thought because since he’s been gone I have been hornier than a nymphomaniac. I reached my climax, after I cleaned up I sleep like a baby. I am embarrassed to say it, but I felt guilty for masturbating because I have a boyfriend and he always does the job of satisfying me. I did masturbate when I was single, but now that I am in a relationship I didn’t have a need for self-pleasure anymore. I learned that I am not alone in feeling shame for masturbating, some of my girlfriends shared with me the same feelings. It was good to know that I wasn’t alone in how I was feeling, and so I decided to share what I learned about self sexploration. Studies have shown that women aren’t told about masturbation when learning about the “birds and the bees” as young girls and that self-penetration could cause harm to their genitals if they put anything in their vagina including their fingers. When girls become women, some will have an aversion to masturbation, viewing it as being dirty, and just avoid touching themselves sexually for fear that they will enjoy it more than being with a partner. I was never that extreme, I enjoyed masturbating when I was single, the pleasure I gave myself was phenomenal, and I used to do it 3 or 4 times a day. My gynecologist told me of the health benefits of masturbation, it lowers stress levels, it’s great for vaginal health because it increases blood flow to the genitals, it calms down menstrual cramps by releasing dopamine and serotonin as these are natural pain relievers, and it’s the safest sex that you can have.

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer @peterneumann

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer @malvestida

I have masturbated as part of foreplay with my boyfriend, he’s even masturbated me to get me wet, so what was the difference between masturbation for foreplay and alone masturbation? The only difference I see is masturbation for foreplay is for each other’s pleasure, and self-masturbation is for the pleasure of one. The sexperts have some great tips for masturbation, so here are a few to help you get to know yourself a little better.

HEAD SOUTH

• FIND YOUR CLIT-Use a mirror if you need to see what you are touching

• SET THE SCENE-Music, lingerie, porn, or candles to get you in the mood

• CLEAN UP-If you have laundry on your bed from the month prior, fold it, and put it away, so that your bed is free from clutter.

• PUT ELECTRONICS AWAY-If you are on your phone then it can become a distraction for you unless you and your significant other are video sexing.

• DON’T IGNORE YOURSELF-If you are alone and you get that feeling for sexual healing, don’t put it off, because that feeling may pass and you will miss an opportunity to have a good orgasm.

• TOYS-Find some adult toys that would be a good fit for you (yes, I wrote that) and that is going to give you what you need sexually.

• TAKE YOUR TIME-Just like the S.O.S Band’s song suggests take your time and do it right. Don’t rush yourself to get to an orgasm, make time for your pleasure, and just remember you are not on a sexual time schedule.

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer @dainisgravaris

I learned that through masturbation I could be relaxed with myself, and not feel like I was doing something wrong with my body. By touching myself I was creating a better way of communicating my sexual needs not only to myself, but was also using self-pleasure techniques to assist my boyfriend as well, and it would not take away the pleasure he gives me when we have sex. I am no longer embarrassed, hell, I don’t even close my bedroom door anymore. I have since bought a bullet vibrator and keep it in my nightstand drawer, and my boyfriend and I use it from time to time for some added excitement. I feel free to touch myself when I am alone, I had suppressed that type of enjoyment when my boyfriend and I got together, but not anymore. Just knowing that I am doing something that is also good for my vaginal health and mood is a great thing too. I say that enjoying yourself is not the wrong thing to do, it’s the right thing to do whenever the mood hits you, and there is no shame in getting to know yourself in that way. If you haven’t introduced yourself to yourself, then maybe it’s time to get to know yourself again or for the first time.

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IMAGES COURTESY OF UNSPLASH | PHOTOGRAPHERS

dAINIS GRAVERIS, MALVESTIDA, JEREMY BISHOP, AND

PETER NEUMANN

Images are used for illustration purposes only.

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