SECURING THE BAG

For The Love of Money

By: Deborah Polchek

---

It's two o'clock in the afternoon on a beautiful sunny day in Los Angeles, and I am headed to meet Rochelle (Ro-Ro as she likes to be addressed) a self-professed bag securer for our interview at a swanky restaurant in West Hollywood.

As I am cruising down the 10 Fwy, I receive a phone call requesting that I meet her at a nail salon on Wilshire Boulevard, so head in that direction. Upon my arrival, I notice her right away, two nail techs; one working on her hands, and the other on her feet, decked out in a Gucci tracksuit, and perched right next to her was a fabulous Prada tote handbag. I strutted in her direction, and before I could introduce myself, she politely invited me to have a manicure and pedicure on her, so as my mama used to say "honey, never look a gift horse in the mouth", I quickly removed my shoes and sat down. 

I could not help but ask about her bling, to which she replied, "girl, my man bought this for me yesterday, and yes, it is as expensive as it looks". Now I must tell you, I wasn’t mad at it. 

I wasn't exactly sure how to start the interview, I mean how do you ask questions about such a personal topic without offending the person? I am talking to a woman who more than likely gets more money than I make in a week, so, I cleared my throat, and with my tape recorder beside me I began the interview.  

---

Me: How did you become a bag securer? (For my readers who don’t know that term is a gold digger)

Ro-Ro: ok, sis get right to the question then (laughs).

Me: (interrupting) Ah, my bad

Ro-Ro: It’s all good girl. Well back in 2010, I was working as a secretary in Downtown L.A., and the company I was employed with was about to close down. I was panicked, I didn't have another job to go to, and my boyfriend at the time lost his job about a month before. So, I had to do something quickly to earn money. I went to work with a girlfriend of mine as an exotic dancer

Me: So you became a stripper, was your man ok with that?

Ro-Ro: Yes, well I didn’t tell him right off until later on a month into it. I was going to quit my first night because I didn’t like taking my clothes off in front of other men, but after I did it a few nights and started making some decent money I decided to stay.

Me: Do mind sharing how much you made?

Ro-Ro: My first week doing it I made about $800, but there were other weeks where I only made about $200-$300.

Me: So, you were making pretty good money, then. When did you meet your first sugar daddy?

Ro-Ro: One night my first "sugar daddy" walked into the club. He asked me for a private dance, so I took him to the VIP Room and danced for him there. After the dance, he paid extra for me to sit with him and just talk. He ordered bottle service with food and began asking me about myself. At first, I thought he was a cop because he was just asking me all of these questions. after a while I felt comfortable enough to open up to him, so I told him about myself. He started talking about what he did for a living and complimenting me, then he asked me if I wanted to be his side chick? I told him about my situation, and that I had a man. But, that’s when he told me that he was married, and couldn’t have anything serious and that we could keep it on the low from our significant others.

Me: So, did you become his side chick then? 

Ro-Ro: Not right off, a few days passed, and he came back to the club and requested me again. He was like: “why you ain’t call me?” I made up some lie, but I told him I could get with him on Monday night if he was still serious. We hooked up for lunch in West Hollywood, and then we went to a really nice hotel in Beverly Hills. I told him that I wasn’t doing this for free,

Me: By “this”, you meant sex, right?

Ro-Ro: Yes

Me: please continue?

Ro-Ro: He told me that he was looking to have a mutually beneficial, no strings attached relationship. So, that's how the ball started rollin'. You know we call that friend with benefits, and that’s what I thought of it as. 

Me: Did he know what that meant?

Ro-Ro: I didn’t want to be known as a sugar baby, because it sounded too childish, you know, immature, and I wasn’t cool with that. I had bills and issues, and he said he would accommodate me.  

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer: @rhemakallianpur

Me: So, did you talk about how much money would be involved?

Ro-Ro: Yup, I told him for a regular hook up it wasn’t going to be cheap, cuz I make good money dancing, and if I am going to do this it better be some serious coin.

Me: Do you mind sharing how much?

Leaning into my tape recorder, she says…

Ro-Ro: I ain’t say all that now, but what I will tell you is that it was more than I made in a month dancing.  

Me: Sorry, if I offended you by asking you how much.

Ro-Ro: Nah, you didn’t, I just don’t like to talk about how much money I get and got (Laughs).

Me: (Nervously laugh) So, how long did this special relationship last?

Ro-Ro: For about two months and then he bounced.

Me: Why so short?

Ro-Ro: We had an argument, cuz I asked him for a bit more money, and I got too greedy according to him, so he moved on. 

Me: So now I have to ask, why didn't you stop after that and find a job that didn't require you to dance or have a friend with benefits?

Ro-Ro: I did try to find another job, but I wasn't being hired for anything really that paid me what I was making at the club. I couldn't afford to go back to school, and I had a daughter to support.

Me: Wait, you have a daughter?

Ro-Ro: Yes, and before you ask that dude didn’t know, because I don’t tell anybody about her.

Me: Ok

Ro-Ro: Anyway, my baby daddy wasn’t giving me any child support, because his ass was broke and living with his friend.

Me: Do you think prostitution and a friend with benefits are the same?

Ro-Ro: No, a prostitute is only going to give it up sexually for a set dollar amount, and not give anything else in return. She is into turning tricks with no real connection to it, and she doesn't care how much money he has. I did care about how much money he had, and wasn't going to just settle for small change.

She turns to me and speaks in a whisper…

Ro-Ro: Listen, I was spending time with him, we weren't always having sex, but I wasn't going to just let him climb in-between my legs for some a little bit of money. I can't be played like that.

---

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer: @mclee

Me: When did you quit stripping? Or are you still stripping?

Ro-Ro: I quit back in 2013 or 2014, I think.

Me: Since leaving the stripper scene behind, did you have other “friends” during that time?

Ro-Ro: Yes, there were a few here and there, but I had to leave those situations, because my man broke up with me, and my daughter needed a lot more motherly things. You know.

Me: Motherly things I am assuming she was blossoming into a woman, right?

Ro-Ro: Yes, she was getting older so I wanted to make sure she was straight with school and be involved in her day-to-day activities.

Me: You mentioned that you had to leave those situations for a while, is there a new “friend”?

Ro-Ro: Yes, I have been with my man since 2018. This right here (pointing to his picture on her cell phone) is all-good.

Me: So where did you meet him, since you weren’t stripping anymore?

Ro-Ro: I met him at a club in Vegas, I was at the Marquee in the Cosmopolitan partying with my girls, and he pulled up and asked me to dance. I was immediately attracted to him, we spent the rest of the night getting to know each other.

Me: Did he ask you to be his friend with benefits or his full-time lady?

Ro-Ro: Well it didn’t really start out like that, I mean I wanted to be his full-time girl, but that’s when he told me about his home situation. I was cool just being friends without the sex because he was hella cool. He wanted more, so I brought it up to him about being in a friend with benefits relationship. He let me know he was down with that, so I became his side chick.

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer: @rockstaar

Me: So you playing the side?

Ro-Ro: Whenever, wherever, and that’s on everything. (Laughing). Real talk tho, I see him as my man, but not in the traditional sense, because he's married, and is not planning on divorcing his wife anytime soon. We are already in a committed relationship, I mean yes, he has a wife, but I see him exclusively. In the beginning, I didn't though, I had to cover all my bases financially when we hooked up, but when I saw that he was the real deal then I gave up the other ones I was seeing on the low. 

Me: Which brings me to my next question, how did you secure the bag?

Ro-Ro: I legit forgot to take my birth control one day, he came over and we did our thing, and about a month later I found out that I was pregnant.

Me: What was his reaction to this?

Ro-Ro: He was mad at first, but I explained that I forgot to take it. He asked me what I was going to do, and I told him that I wanted to have the baby.

Me: Since he was mad, did he ask you to get an abortion?

Ro-Ro: well yes, and no. He asked me to do it, but only if I wanted to.

Me: I assume he must have some serious dollars if he didn’t pressure you to go through with it.

Ro-Ro: Yes, he does have a lot of money.

Me: Weren’t you worried that he would just disappear after you told him that you were going to keep the baby?

Ro-Ro: Yes, for the first four months I didn’t hear from him, I texted and called him, but he didn’t answer me. So, I went on just taking care of myself, and trying to keep it together for my daughter and my unborn baby’s sake.

Me: When did he come back?

Ro-Ro: He called me when I hit my fourth month, I was surprised and happy.

Me: That must have been a relief, right?

Ro-Ro: It was, we went to dinner and had a nice talk, and we worked everything out.

Me: What reason did he give for disappearing on you?

Ro-Ro: He told me that he was worried about how my pregnancy was going to affect his marriage and if he should tell his wife and kids about the situation. He decided not to tell his wife, but he said he missed me too much to just walk away from me like that.

Me: I assume you had the baby, is he involved with his child?

Image courtesy of Unsplash | Photographer: @gabriellefaithhenderson

Ro-Ro: Hell yes, he would be a fool not to (laughing), cuz he signed the birth certificate, and had me sign legal documents for child support. Our son looks just like him, and he is a good father.

Me: That’s good, does he spend time with your daughter when he’s over visiting his son?

Ro-Ro: Yes, he treats her like his daughter too. When she turned 14 years old he took all of us to Disney World for her birthday, and she calls him her special friend-dad.  

Me: Well it certainly seems like everything is working out for you.

Ro-Ro: It is, and we are happy the way we are.

So, with my perfect manicure and pedicure all done, our interview ended with a goodbye embrace, and kind departing words. As I waddled out of the nail salon, I left feeling satisfied and reflective of my time with Ms. Ro-Ro.

---

Images COURTESY of unsplash | photographers credited

Images are used for illustration purposes.

Special thanks to Rochelle “Ro-Ro” for the great interview and the manicure and pedicure.